January 6th needs to get here FAST!!!! It is so difficult to be so present when I know what’s to come. In three months I get to head to Hawaii, go to school, learn, travel, and most importantly, just BE.
Don’t hear me incorrectly I love my family, I love my friends, I love my job, I love my members, but I’m ready to go be set apart from this life I have lived so intensely. I get to adventure!!! I have been so success driven my entire life somewhere along the way I forgot how to BE and just live. I don’t know what adventure even looks like because there was never time for it….Lu had things to do!!!
I love everything (ok maybe not everything) but most things about my job. I get to watch people just blow their own minds as to their human capabilities. I witness battles won everyday in the mind, the body, and the soul. Gosh, it’s just the greatest thing ever. I am looked to for inspiration in a moment of weakness, motivation in a moment of doubt and guidance where there seems to be no path. It’s surreal sometimes that people actually feel I can offer that…it’s a very large compliment, and at times I feel completely undeserving! Well I am undeserving, it’s only by grace I have been offered this.
It is now by grace that Lu Crenshaw the coach, the teacher gets to walk away and seek the Lord. I will not be asked to lead (well at least that’s not what I’m expecting, but if called, I will), to motivate, to inspire. I will just get to be. I will get to focus on my heart, and becoming the woman God has called me to be. WOOHOO!!!!!
When intimacy i found in a relationship with the Lord it’s all consuming! It’s brilliant, it’s amazing, it’s beyond words. I have found it to be hard functioning in life, while walking with Jesus. As the number of days until departure dwindle I find life to be busier. I find less time to read my Bible, to journal, to pray, to hear His voice. It frustrates me to no end but I’m learning to now walk beside the Lord in a different way. To find Him, not in the solitude of life, but in people around me and hearing his voice even when it’s loud and busy is so important.
In this relationship I have now realized that when life isn’t making sense, patience is small, frustration is high, understanding is not found, truth hard to believe I ask myself a couple questions; have I been in the Word, have I prayed, have I had fellowship? Thing is, if I’m in a funk precisely the cure for it!!! The answers are found and it all begins to make sense. I cannot let the business of life put a wedge between my heart and the Lord’s. It just doesn’t work.
So, next time you are feeling lost, ask yourself a question….What’s missing?
-Funky Cold Ludina