What is the first thing that comes to your mind when I say the word, FIGHT?
Is it a verbal argument, where words and spears are thrown with the intent to hurt? Or, maybe for you, it’s where fists are literally thrown and physical injury occurs?
Well, I’m not talking about either. I’m making reference to a sort of fighting, that these days just doesn’t happen enough…..
FIGHTING FOR UNDERSTANDING
This is a fight that isn’t sought to injure, but mend. A reaching out for the heart of another. The decision to stand firm and stay until a resolution occurs.
We live in a day and age of SELFISH people. We are all about ME!!! I’m talking about me too! This is just another topic I write about because it’s a road I have walked. I never ever knew what it meant to stay and fight for understanding. If I felt hurt, mad, or even misunderstood, I tossed on my sneakers and ran!!! Ran away from my family, my friends, my relationship, I just chose to run. It was too hard to stay.
Why was it so hard for you Lu? Well you really want to know? Vulnerability, yep…that simple little word. I would have nothing of the sort. Let others see I was hurt, sad, upset…nope they just saw I was mad, annoyed, or impatient. That was way safer. It was way easier to toss those emotions out and distance my heart.
I never chose to stay and fight for understanding or to even offer up my own heart so the other could better understand where I was coming from. I just ran away from it.
We also live in a society that is not afraid to toss another under the bus, to pierce with words, to gossip, to just show no sort of respect. It’s sad actually. The thing is that I now find that so sad when before I just joined ’em. I would speak words and then wished I hadn’t, but they were already out…so deal with it!!!! Well not anymore. I want to be careful with my tongue. I want to be vulnerable with my heart when it’s safe. I want to fight for understanding with those that I love.
So I feel like maybe I could be rambling so I’m going to give you an idea of what exactly what I mean for it’s something I am very much learning.
Have you ever walked into a room of some people and when you walk in it gets a little quiet and you automatically assume they were talking about you? Did you ever think that it might never have been that at all? Yeah me either. How many times have you gone back to those people and just asked them? Why not? Were you afraid you might be rejected, afraid of wounding your pride? Well here’s what happens is that your mind and heart begins to run and run and run as to what they could have been talking about. In that very moment seeds of uncertainty, untruth, and anger begin to take root and grow….they take over and they begin to effect the perception of those in the room. You may become bitter, resentful….ever thought maybe there was nothing being said at all?
Why not just ask….I know, that’s a crazy thought, that’s a little scary, but it’s part of the fight. Or if they were talking maybe it wasn’t anything bad. Ask. Desire to understand.
When you want to run in the middle of a conversation where you feel hurt, stay and fight, when you hurt another, stay and fight.
Fight, fight, fight for the hearts of those that matter. If they don’t matter, that’s a totally different story. If they do matter then close the gap that could begin between two hearts. When there is understanding found, hearts love more, hearts trust more, and relationships thrive.
Your words are life and death…choose them wisely!!!