As I stand on the verge of my 30th birthday and the biggest adventure of my life I have decided to let you into a little secret about this last year. I have stated that it’s been a “brutiful” year. A year filled with ups and downs but a year that I can look at and say I am honestly not the same person. I am the woman God has been calling me all my life to be. I had gotten in my own way for the first 28…then came 29.
When I read the word about what the next year would look like (if you want to read it it’s under The Year 29) I seriously spend the next 3 weeks after my birthday reading all about diamonds. I wanted to know where they were in the Bible. What they represented, how they were made, where they were found, and on and on. My search led me….NO WHERE!!!! I was a little bit bummed and then sort of forgot about my diamonds.
I won’t go into detail how they came back into the picture….for one, it’s a long story, and for two, some of you might find me crazy…..which is ok too! Anyways, the diamonds surfaced again about three months ago. They sort of came out of the blue and they were way different than they were before.
When I had read about diamonds before I knew that they were precious gems that were considered adamant, meaning they were too hard to cut, break or pierce. They were impenetrable and unyieldingly hard. The only way to cut, break or pierce the stone is with another diamond. Just as iron sharpens iron…so to, diamonds. That was so amazing to me. This year would be a year in which God was going to unfold precious gems in me. I wasn’t sure as to how He was going to do that….but He’s God so He would figure it out. Oh and did He ever. So basically for the last three months precious gems have been unfolded in my person.
In the letter God stated He would unveil beauty in me I didn’t know existed…but that He had known all along. Crazy eh? I had no idea what that meant…I do now. I would daily be given a diamond while journaling that was a facet of God’s characteristic. It was a part of my person that was either hidden or had never been formed. To this day I have been given 25 diamonds. No diamond is a part of my character that is strong…they are parts of who God is that has changed my entire being.
They were there, they were unrefined, they needed another diamond…the most beautiful one of all to mold and make my diamonds. As I looked up the definition of a diamond tonight I found the definition of diamonds in the rough. A diamond in the rough is defined as a person of fine character but lacking refined manners or graces. The funny thing to me about this is that there are parts of who I am that I love…but man there are so many other parts that I do not love. There are parts of others that I find so attractive that I do not possess. I so desired to be a more well rounded woman. A woman that when you saw her across a room you would not see her as stuck up, intimidating or unapproachable. I wanted to be crazier and sillier, I wanted to love harder and better. As my diamonds began to be unfolded the process began.
My diamonds are a representation of Christ. When they are put into action Christ is seen. It is His will not mine that is being put forth. They are shiny and beautiful, they are the weakest parts of me. The great news is that where I am weak He is strong. The first diamond I received was the diamond of vulnerability. For those of you that know me well might just laugh. Lu…vulnerable….psssshhhhh….RIGHT!!!! The definition that so represented what God was calling me to was to not be walled off, to be more apt to let my guard down. The only way to be truly be vulnerable is to trust that God’s got you. I am still learning. The walls began to fall as I became vulnerable. It was pretty amazing, I started crying in public…well crying period. I began to allow others to know me…the good, the bad, and the ugly. I was not vulnerable with everyone but to those who would take care of my heart.
The thing that was so crazy to me was that I always wanted to be a girl who my friends felt they could come to me to be a shoulder. I wanted to be a safe haven for hearts. The thing I learned was that until others see that you are vulnerable and not always strong and walled off, they won’t come to you. My walls fell and others started to find me safe. You must allow others to know you need as well, you hurt as well, you cry as well….then you become accessible. It’s not cliche folks…”People don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care.”
The diamonds continue to come…..