I preface this blog with the depravity of my own heart for the Lord. The posture of my heart is just as I am in need the world is in need of a Savior. And praise the Lord He is mine. His work was done on the cross. The joy of the Lord is my strength, but even so what I saw doesn’t make it easy…..genocide happened. Millions were killed and this is not the only place on earth where this has happened. And to this day is still happening. North Korea, China, Libya, Sudan it’s all happening in this generation.
As my eyes are still puffy an my upper lip a little swollen…you know how it gets swollen when you cry alot! Emotion is hard to explain right now. My earphones in listening to some music as we ride the tuk tuk back to downtown Phnom Penh. Trying to process how my heart really feels. Pity, sadness, anger, depravity….I’m pretty aware it could be all of them.
We just left the killing fields. A tourist destination for the country of Cambodia. The fields along with S-21, a prison in town. When they could not house or kill the people fastest enough they opened up the fields.
As we walked through the fields you can see bones still making their way to the surface. You can see clothes still emerging from the hard dry ground. They are purple, blue, black, some even grey. They have been faded by the sun as they were worn and as they still lie in the ground no longer covering the bodies of who used to wear them.
We sat down as a team in a peaceful gazebo. We just began to pray and a the prayers started I began to weep. Weeping for the lives lost, for the children taken from their families, for the wives torn from the arms of their husbands….tears flowed as prayer flowed from my lips. This is what happens where God is not.
This is my heart, the world is in need of a Savior. Our world is in a downward spiral and in the midst we find the love of God! We see his goodness. We see his redemption. We see his glory.
As I walk away I know that my heart has shifted. The God of the Universe offered me a piece of his heart. He broke my heart once again for what breaks His. He is the God of love, the God of mercy, the God of grace and in him I find the fullness.