So the blog actually wasn’t going to go this way today. Today was going to be a co-writing day….me, my sister, and Zach all writing about the same thing. But since I am the one that has the password I’m changing things up…why? Well because I can. As my sister and I were skyping this morning I was struggling with the conversation. There was this awkwardness to the conversation…almost like you know there’s so much to talk about, but there’s nothing to talk about. So Ellie comes out and says, “sister this is awkward….” Praise the Lord!!!! I responded that I felt the same way. So as the conversation only go more awkward I asked her what I should blog about today. She didn’t say much. So I said ask the Lord….so she did and got the words, awkward conversation…PERFECT. So we both were going to write. But as they sent over their part of the writing, I was laughing so hard but also so inspired and floored by her response. So all I’m going to say is that sister I’m so proud of you. I’m so happy for you and Zach. I can’t wait to see you guys soon and just do life with you!!! I know I haven’t always been the best big sister in the whole world but you still loved me anyways. So thank you. Zach I cannot wait to see all that God is about to do in your life….BIG THINGS. I love you two and can’t wait to see you!!!!! So enjoy Ellie’s response to the awkward conversation!!! Something that started as a silly conversation turned into something that radically touched my heart…..ENJOY
I have been telling anyone that would listen about how much I miss my sister. My husband and I seem to be the only ones that haven’t skyped with her on the regular. But when she asked me to skype tonight I started to get nervous like I was about to go on my first date. My palms started sweating. I changed my clothes…combed down my hair…YES I primped to talk to my sister . That video clicked on and I was at a complete loss for words. Five minutes in, a long five minutes in, and I had to say it. “Sis…this is awkward.” “Oh gosh I’m glad you say that cause I was totally feeling it.” “Why is this so hard?” “I feel like we’re strangers”. We had obviously gone too long without talking. Sometimes I’ll be honest, I have had awkward conversations with God because I went way too long without talking to Him. Praying all of a sudden felt new to me. I forget that I don’t have to phrase things beautifully that I can talk to Him like we never stopped talking. I forgot that with my sister tonight. You don’t have to force emotions or feelings He knows. She and I decided to turn off the camera…but things didn’t get real until she asked me to help her write her blog. She told me to ask the Lord what it should be about and instantly “AWKWARD CONVERSATIONS” popped into my head. I asked anyways because I question His voice when I shouldn’t.. He calmly repeated Himself and here we are. Sissy, I miss you! I love you! I follow you on fb and I know the amazing things God is doing in you. You smile!!! So much!!! You laugh…and it’s BEAUTIFUL!!! You talk and people listen even if they think they aren’t. I can’t wait to have you home. Work is great!! I love where I’m at and even more love what I’m doing. Married life…it’s a kick in the pants. Living at home with Mom…something I’m grateful for everyday. Hanging out with Dom and Ash almost daily and am learning so much about becoming a mom and a wife from her I can’t even retain it all. I’m excited. Zach and I are talking babies. We’re praying that in God’s time he’ll make it possible. We’re looking for positive and encouraging friends…but right now we’re so glad family can also be those friends we’re looking for. So that is what was so hard to say on skype because I forgot that I love you and our relationship is sooooo real. No more awkward conversations…with you or God.
Zach and Ellie Marley