I continue to notice this running theme in my life that sometimes just makes no sense. I began to notice it in Cambodia when I shared a room with 8 girls. I would find myself having to put dirty toilet paper left on top of the garbage can in the garbage can…I would pick nasty hairballs out of the drain. They were two very disgusting, yet consistent duties. When I first started doing this I was so annoyed and I had a terrible attitude. It was ugly!
As I came home I would mention to people that Cambodia was not fun, but I found so much joy in my life that is still true to this day. How is that possible? How can the annoying, difficult things bring joy?
There’s joy in digging deep! It happens after a workout…I’m pretty sure that not many people are super excited in the middle of a tough workout. After it’s over though, well people are all smiles. They did it!!! There’s joy!
There is some sort of confidence that builds inside of us and it helps sustain us. When I’m tired I know what I want my response to be…”I need my space, my time, my, my, my”.
I am in a season right now where I am just utterly exhausted most of the time, I don’t have much free time and I’m constantly with people. I will not share what my heart feels like but here’s what I’m going to do…DIG in and GO harder!!! When this happens I gain victory in the areas of self-pity, needing my own space, annoyance, etc. I don’t give into those things…well I do, but I’m working on not staying there long.
I need to surrender myself. The world says it’s all about me, NOT SO MUCH!!!! It’s about loving and serving those around us, it’s about looking like Jesus did as He came to this earth. He was not offended, He was a servant, He was compassionate, He was understanding, and altogether selfless. I want to find the joy in the victory of digging deep and pressing in even when it’s hard, even when I’m tired, even when I’m annoyed and frustrated. I know a joy and peace in my life I have ever known, but I want more of that. So as I have 8 more weeks of staffing this DTS I’m committing to digging my heels in!!!!
I’m going to be grateful that I’m tired and in the midst I want to find the joy.