My palms are sweaty, I’m not sure if my knees are weak (I’m sitting down), but I’ve got butterflies for sure. A week of some serious breakthrough and momma is nervous!!!
I am an athlete, I was created that way, I don’t know how to sort of, kind of compete, I just don’t. So this evening I get the opportunity to do so. I get to do so for the first time in my life embracing my strength, believing it’s beautiful, believing that when the clock starts my beauty does not flee, it does not go hide somewhere…my femininity will not run and hide. Yep, I believed that, I thought it ran off and hid in a corner when I competed.
So tonight should be fun. A new feeling inside the skin I’m in. The realization that my strength outwardly protects the gentle, compassionate, sensitive, loving spirit that lives on the inside of me. It feels a little silly getting all nervous to compete in the CrossFit Open, but ultimately I’m putting my strength and gifts that God has given me, using them for His glory and competing against 46,638 other women all around the world.
So I’m going to put on my cute pants, lace up my bright pink shoes, make sure those pearls are in my ears and I’m going to go into a mode most like to say after they see me train…I usually cringe when I hear it…BEAST MODE, I’m gonna call it The Beautiful Beast Mode, nonetheless, I’m going to do it. I’m going to give all I have because Christ does it for me everyday. He did it at the Cross and it’s the least I could do. Giving Him glory in EVERYTHING I do, not just the things that seem spiritual or Godly, but EVERYTHING.
The journey of a soul through its messiest rooms is not merely a drive-by glimpse of the depths of our sin and our need for repentance; it is not a journey for the sake of guilt or even right-living. It is true that we are shown the weight of our masks and the extent of our messes; we are handed the great encumbrance of our own failures. But all so we can be shown again the one who asks to take them all from us. All so we can be fully human. “Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows… But he was pierced for our transgressions, crushed for our iniquities” (Isaiah 53:4-5). Quite mercifully, it is through the dingy windows of a messy house that one has the clearest view of the cross.