I Want My Identity to Come from Him and NOT My Scale


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“When the mind is not distracted by thoughts of food, it is miraculously opened up to hearing God’s voice more clearly. It is opened up to a whole world of other worthy deep thoughts previously shut out by the enemy in this battle over what call “food”. Just a thought…since I no longer think about food.”

I’m very excited to introduce to you Ms. Sara Derek, wife of one man, mother of three, and a hard working client of mine, with a heart as tender as they come. She has been training with me two mornings a week for one month. After sending me the above text, I realized I needed her to write for the blog, to share this breakthrough, and willingly to step out in this area of fear. So here she is ladies and gentleman. Take it away Sara….

The business of facing a fear is no fun.

When I sat face to face with Lu in my living room at the start of this adventure I wasn’t sure what I was getting myself into. A personal trainer? Someone all up in my personal weaknesses? My mind said, “Ummm no thank you!” I have a long history of failing at exercise and unhealthy eating. I am a yo-yo dieter from waaaaaay back y’all! A never-ending cycle of being “good” and “bad”. On top of this poor behavior, I really don’t like opening myself up to people I don’t know very well. (You people who can do that really inspire me!) That’s why group fitness classes always appealed to me…distance, safety in numbers, little to no vulnerability. But when Lu asked if I really was ready to do this, my heart said “DO IT.”

Yeah, that was God. He was there in the tears of that initial meeting. He showed up all month long in the gym with me! This last month I was pushed so hard physically and mentally. Pushed so much so that when I got home from the gym all I could do was curl up in the fetal position! HA! But I called on Him in the gym. Do you know how good it feels to plead, “God get me through this last set of ring rows!” and then receive the strength to DO them?! Well I’ll tell ya, it’s pretty amazing. It’s right up there with a nice, hot bath and ice cream. My point is, it’s definitely not through my strength alone that I make it through these workouts. But the cool thing about working out with Lu and my husband Todd, was that not only was I able to lean on the very one who was fit enough to bear the cross, but there was also a continuous stream of encouragement coming from their mouths as well. When I thought I couldn’t swing a kettle bell one more time, a voice was right there saying YES YOU CAN! You, Sara, are worth finishing strong. You are worth going the distance and not stopping short of the lines you’re running (or crawling) to! You can DO THIS!

Funny enough, I’ve learned that there are a lot of things about my behavior in the gym that parallel my life outside of the gym: I tend to stop short, quit early, I give it MOST of what I’ve got. I push hard at the last minute. I doubt. I worry my butt will look big in my pants…You get the point! I’ve learned so much about what needs to be changed in me as a person just by exercising with someone who is willing to help me become a better me. Wow, I can’t wait to meet the new Sara!

Usually, with exercise comes some weight loss. THANK goodness or I would have a hard time ever starting!! However, along with the weight I’m also losing poor habits, idleness, and a lack of identity. I’m learning that I cannot fully be happy with myself unless I can start to see myself through God’s eyes. And oh my goodness, girls, he thinks I’m pretty darn amazing! (And he thinks YOU are, too!) My daily happiness used to depend on whether I lost or gained a pound on the cursed scale. Now, my cry is, “God show me who I am in you.” I want my identity and joy to come from Him and not my scale. It is a process, but it has started.

Are you ready to become a better you? The you who is not being pinned down by the weight of the enemy? Satan would love nothing more than to see us waste our lives feeling depressed and unable to move; living life on the sidelines while others experience the joy that was meant to be ours; to eat ourselves into oblivion while the “food” sickens us even more; to believe the lie that he is constantly whispering in our ears that we are not worth the effort. But WHO overcame the world and defeated him? That is right. And HE is the same one who will be by our sides as you and I do this very important work. It’s very important work for me because my area of greatest impact right now is within my own family. If I’m too sick or tired to function there, Satan wins. And that my friends is just plain unacceptable! I am finally realizing that.

So there it is…my personal thoughts and revelations while looking back over the beginning of this journey. This was seriously terrifying you guys! I’m SO not a writer. But, when Lu asked me to write about my first month with her at the Den, and asked me to include the good, the bad and the ugly, I couldn’t refuse. But my dear people…all there is, is good.

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Sara Derek is a wife of 1| mother of 3 | teacher | schedule juggler | shower singer | neophyte Crossfitter who loves God and people. I’ve spent the last 38 years learning to just be me. Maybe this will be my year!

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15 thoughts on “I Want My Identity to Come from Him and NOT My Scale

  1. You are braver and stronger than you think – what an awesome journey you’re on. Thank you so much sharing, it is a privilege.

  2. Thank you Sarah for sharing exactly what is in my heart as well. It has been such a blessing to work with you and Derek those mornings. You guys are motivating in just your nature. Thanks again for being vulnerable.

  3. How beautiful!! Thank you for being brave enough to start the journey and share it with us. Keep up the amazing work you are doing!!

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