The War Rages


“22 Let us all come forward and draw near with true (honest and sincere) hearts in unqualified assurance and absolute conviction engendered by faith (bythat leaning of the entire human personality on God in absolute trust and confidence in His power, wisdom, and goodness), having our hearts sprinkled and purified from a guilty (evil) conscience and our bodies cleansed with pure water. 23 So let us seize and hold fast and retain without wavering the hope we cherish and confess and our acknowledgement of it, for He Who promised is reliable (sure) and faithful to His word.”

Hebrews 10:22-23 AMP

I have come out on the other side…PHEWIE!!!  Ever since I moved back home I have just kept wondering what I’m doing here. Lord, I trust you but what the heck, why am I back in Medford. I live in my mom’s garage, I drive a car that’s falling apart, and I work at the gym I used to own…WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH ME? Don’t get me wrong, I’m loving it, just wondering. My constant heart posture is, Lord do what ever you have to do to me to whatever you want to do through me. It’s a dangerous prayer, but one I’m willing to pray.

The last few years of my life I feel as if I have willing put the firehose of the Lord in my mouth, I’m uninterested in sipping from the garden hose, I WANT THE FIRE HOSE. Need a visual?

Last week I felt like just that. I’m watching the Lord unravel some messy parts of me, they just happen to be all stored up in my body, memories, physical pain, emotions, etc. I wasn’t ready for what was going to unravel…oh but boy did it unravel. The whole week as i struggled through each day I kept hearing the Lord say, I’m making more room for my glory! Oh and boy did He ever. It was messy, it was painful, it was tiring and by weeks end I literally felt as if I had been through a war. A war that I came out on the other side though filled with more of the Lord, filled with more joy, and an even greater understanding of how wonderful and faithful the Lord truly is. It’s takes the fire, the mess, the pain sometimes to get us where we need to be.  But, oh boy is it worth it.  We have to trust that the in the midst of the storm God is doing something.

We hang on tight, trust that God knows what’s best, and enjoy the ride. When we let God do what He wanting to do with us it’s a beautiful thing. We can fight it or we can say yes to it. Let him do what He wants to do. It’s ok if it doesn’t make sense, but that’s why He is God and we are not. Thank goodness right!?!?!?!

The firehose, no matters it’s force will clean some stuff up.

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