I’m just going to be real, here. Is that okay?
I figure I can pop on here every week or so and copy and paste from some fabulous diet and fitness website, and I can throw in some good scripture here and there, and I could list the rules for healthy living and I could call it good. And you, Lu’s gracious readers, would probably be too kind to call me out. You might call it good-ish, because you don’t know what else to say, or you might not comment at all. But still, I could just call it good and move on to the next step of my self improvement according to the latest trending topic online and hope no one sees what a fake I really am.
But it wouldn’t be good. Because it’s not honest. I’m shredded. God’s exposing some things in my heart and I don’t want to miss out on what He’s doing in me. So I would rather be real than good. I would rather risk this time in the freedom of being honest than to be a rule polisher. Is that okay?
Here’s the deal. It all comes down to trust.
Do I trust Jesus? Do I really trust him, or do I just know the list of stuff I’m supposed to do or not do as a Christian? Is my life meant to be about rules or about freedom? Do I trust him to do a new thing in me; something I’ve never seen before?
Look at Noah. God asks him to build a cruise ship 5 miles from town in the middle of the desert. He doesn’t waste a bunch of time asking why or how. He just grabs his hammer and gets to work. And here’s the thing; researchers say that rain did not exist before that time. Water from the sky was something Noah had never seen before. But Noah knew who he was. And Noah believed and lived as if God would do something new.
Look at Abraham. God asks him to sacrifice his own son; the precious son through which God was going to fulfill his promise to build a great nation. But he doesn’t waste a bunch of time asking why or how. He just grabs his knife and starts up the mountain. And here’s the thing; as far as I have heard God had not raised anyone from the dead before. Calling someone out from the grave was something Abraham had never seen. But Abraham knew who he was. And Abraham believed and lived as if God would do something new.
Look at me. God asks me to end my romance with food. He asks me trust Him to feed me. He dreams of lavishing blessing on my life, but I’m too busy blessing myself! I don’t want to waste a bunch of time asking how or why. I just want to tell myself NO for once, and say YES to whatever God wants to fill my life with. I want to know who I am. Looking back on my life I have never completely trusted God to fulfill my deepest desires and longings. I have searched for ways to delight myself, instead of delighting in Him.
This is Lu here…I want to make sure you are hearing what Jenna is saying! She was filling her hearts desires with food…let that sink in……deeper, deeper, deeper!
But I am reminded today of who I am. And I believe Jesus and am determined to live as if God will do something new in me.
This might get messy. But I’ll take messy over good any day.
I trust Him.
From “Oceans/Where My Feet May Fail by Hillsong”
You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior
Jenna is married to her prom date (David) and is the proud mom of Ethan (22), Evan (20) and Ellis (18). She is learning how to live like Jesus and to love urgently, extravagantly and invisibly. She is a hopeless coffee freak, a mentor for teens and college kids, and blogger over at JUMPING INTO AWKWARD.