Never The Same


Ellieweddingdress

Welcome my wonderful, amazing, inspiring sister to the blog!!!! She’s had an amazing journey and had decided she wants to share it with you all! She’s come so far in such a short amount of time and I’m so dang proud of her.

I was raised a Christian, but things happened to me and others around me that led me away from my intended relationship with God. I can sit here and tell you that I wasn’t angry at God, but that would be dishonest and counterproductive. It took me a long time to realize this. After a few heated conversations with a well intentioned sister I finally swallow my pride and realize I was letting the past effect my walk with The Lord.

I thought my relationship with the Lord would be better without church. I had experienced judgmental and hurtful people in the past. No where did I recognize man to be finite and fallen because I didn’t recognize myself that way.

Whoa! Talk about prideful!

When looking back at my relationship with God I never was mad at Him for the hardships, I just needed to know where He was during them!  I recommend if you have asked the same questions, ask Him. It’s an insanely powerful thing and His desire is to show. I had never heard from Him before, so an answer was not what I was expecting.  HE DID!  When He did there was so much peace, forgiveness, brokenness and anger. Now it was time to deal with the heart issue that I had now accepted as reality.  I didn’t know how, but He showed me.

The God of my understanding faithfully revealed Himself to me. When He did, He was so completely different from who I had believed Him to be. I had put Him in a box. I believed Him to be distant, cold, mysterious…. What??

My God is none of those things and He showed me! That day He showed me He had always been there, I just wasn’t listening.

I did not think He had a sense of humor. Now if you know me or my husband at all you know we love to laugh! Mine is loud and Zach loves to make me bellow!!! As I read “Beautiful Outlaw” by John Eldridge, it shattered my ideas of Jesus!

“God is more playful than we are.” 

God gave us our laughs and made things for us to laugh at!! Like a sloth or monkeys that throw poo! My point is, my relationship with God has shifted. I still struggle to hear that sometimes small voice but He has shifted my view of myself. I took the time to sit and fully ask Him who I was and he told me! He told me things I never thought I would be, but I will be!! I am less angry. I joke less at the expense of others. I am less offended and I am daily striving for a healthier me. It’s a fight somedays! The chocolate cries out to me, but I know I’m meant for more! I am not claiming to be perfect, but I am aware of places I gave the enemy strongholds and daily I am fighting to break free.

DAILY!

I have the knowledge that my Poppa fighting for my life right beside me and that makes everyday less daunting.

IMG_6089Ellie is the wife to the amazing Zach Marley.  The two of them together will make you laugh til you pee.  They carry so much joy.  Ellie is a nail artist at The Lockhouse Salon in Jacksonville.  She loves to cook and this woman can’t wait to be a mama one day.

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